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Phase III:

  Butterfly

  Temptation

  wondering can be troubling

  a black cat with eight lives lived

  curiosity his best friend and worst enemy

  how thoughts of intimacy weave intricate

  webs from which there is no escape

  thinking this way gets unsure flys caught up

  everytime until the spiders venom

  gets in them

  paralyzing

  intoxicating

  hesitating

  is cowardly but brave

  a second can save your life

  thinking twice about decisions

  can keep you out of a lustful prison

  of your own design

  where you can't even see the bars

  where it's hard to tell fantasy from reality

  yes wondering is truly a dangerous thing

  it can make you walk right up to the ledge and look over

  a fascinating beautiful nightmare

  the manifestation of every fear you hold dear and pack away

  in that closet

  if life had a remote control

  you could pause it

  instead it keeps moving like the tides

  hypnotizing rhythms

  as sensual sirens try to convince wayward sailors

  to give into them

  and crash on the rocky reef below

  no

  wondering would be a big blunder

  your conscious would batter you like thunder

  understand that it's natural to question

  God's directions

  especially when there's no map

  tapping into inner strength and faith

  is the only way to combat

  overwhelming desire to give into the flesh

  if this is a test

  you must study the game and pass

  but know that this class will never truly end

  and this is a game that no one ever truly wins

  because sin all depends on what you believe in

  but if you don't believe in something you'll fall for anything

  even the wrong thing

  so stop wondering (wandering)

  and know

  that following love's path

  is the only way to go (grow)

  A Long Distance Daydream

  At this very moment, I am trying to find something to get into. Something to do besides think about you . Because we can’t be together right now and I don’t even know how this whole thing will play out. You’re like 4 trillion miles away from me, and I’m just trying to keep it together.

  Depending on the phone to ring, or something else to keep my mind off our situation. I’m pacing up and down the long halls of my cerebrum, and sometimes just when I think I’ve found a solution, it immediately gets washed away by more confusion. How much does it cost to fly there on only a weeks notice?

  I’ve been noticing lately that I greatly appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And I can’t wait to see you again. Can’t wait to have my lover and friend grinning at some stupid joke I’m telling. I can almost imagine smelling your hair, or staring into those big beautiful brown eyes.

  Can almost imagine settling into that wet spot between your thighs, hearing your sighs rise high like clouds in the sky. I’m crying you a river inside because I can’t show these emotions on the surface. Can’t admit how nervous I am about living with someone for the first time putting it all on the line for the hope of love. Hoping that it’s enough to keep us together forever.

  Wherever I go in my travels will love be enough to stop me from dabbling in other females?

  Will you hear rumors and tales about me creeping from city to city? Treating you shitty but remaining just witty enough to keep you with me? Could we blend reality and fantasy

  just enough to rise above the stuff that brings most relationships down? We’re both grown and I’m not trying to own you or condone what I do but I can’t be alone. Talking on the phone once a week can’t calm the freak in me keeping me searching for lust even though it’s unjust, it’s just not enough for me to know that you’re there waiting patiently. I can’t see or understand how you do that. When I see a woman with a fat ass I just react. And lately I’ve been attracting some pretty fine ass females. They still pale in comparison, but who’s comparing them?

  Not me. I’m just looking for company a warm body to spend the night with me. Having occasional moments of ecstasy, but you can have faith that it’s just sex to me. Not to say that they mean nothing. But they don’t mean more than the something I’m still holding on to.

  Lucky for you few women ever get through my defenses. The suspense is killing me, like how finding out about my infidelity would probably kill you. Still you tell me that you trust me and that you love me. How real this must be, because you’re willing to put your whole life on hold or leave it behind to climb into mine where the weather is sublime but who knows how much time we’ll have to enjoy it. How long can this last? Will the past catch up to me making me see that having my cake and eating it too is easy but swallowing the shit is where the difficulty comes in?

  I know I have a high price to pay for the sins I make every day you’re away from me. But one day I hope that I can say the words I Love You and do the things necessary to show you

  that I owe you monogamy by kneeling on bended knee and asking you to marry me.

  By Candlelight

  a spark

  ignites the light

  banishing night

  a glowing presence

  becoming clear to sight

  a flickering flame

  begins to grow

  as the flesh flows

  the shadows dance

  to a rhythm slow

  a bright beam of light

  old scenery renews

  providing breathtaking views

  the catalyst

  for passions fuse

  a burning desire

  night turns to morn

  the figures now worn

  huddle closely

  in the warmth of love reborn

  a glance into the fire

  hypnotized

  the sun begins to rise

  one kiss from the wind

  the flame dies

  Prisoner of Love